Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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