We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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