You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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