You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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