it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
