"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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