She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
