Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
