Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
