Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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