if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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