You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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