everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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