quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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