he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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