you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
