WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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