Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
