we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
