I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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