just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Randomize
