She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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