I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
