he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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