I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
