i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
