good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Send help, water and tortillas.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
