I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
