This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
