I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
