i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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