You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
