Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
