does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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