Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
