haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
