She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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