No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
