Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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