Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
