did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
