I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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