no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I understand Curling. That high.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
