it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
