Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
