Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
