They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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