Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
