what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
