Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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