Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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